Emotica

when i get bored at night i track down lost friends.

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 05:27:07 GMT

i haven't updated in a very long time, however i was scanning old entries and found them amusing. Many of the things i said two years ago were trite and self-serving, but i can't help but notice much of musical tastes and general aestetic beliefs remain solid. i'm glad i had this journal, if only to show that at one point i was nothing to the individual i am today.

ps. i see everything.

pps. s my d.

I'm a sucker

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 15:23:49 GMT

The Slow Dancer
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDm)

Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer.

Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.

Your exact opposite:
The Hornivore

Random Brutal Sex Master

While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe

CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor or The Sonnet

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: VoiceFade

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 23:45:24 GMT

i started writing a new song and its very not me, but very good. i should have a recording by tonight of a basic structure, if you want it, im me.

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 19:06:12 GMT

Last night in jersey. I am a Soldier.

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 06:08:34 GMT

and real pain for my sham friends.

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 05:06:41 GMT

summer is freinds, booze, dara, frisbee, music, and just enough work to fund it all. i love life.

i'm a scoundrel

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 00:33:57 GMT

My ex is... unimportant
Maybe I should ... go to bed
I love ... my guitar and my girl
I don't understand ... how i got here
I lost my ... black pair of dickies
People would say that I'm ... a suprise
Sex is ... glorious
Love is ... even better
Somewhere, someone is ... drowning
Forever is ... such a romantic word
I think the current President is ... way past due
I woke up this morning ... cold
Life is full of ... bad music
My past ... is covered in little post-it notes
I get annoyed when ... my voice doesn't do what my mind tells it to
I wish ... when its 11:11
My dog ... would be a wolf/husky mix
Tomorrow I'm going to ... get cut, then get fucked
I have no tolerance for people who ... take advantage of my kindness
If I had a million dollars I would ... pay for college, and a trip around the world
Home is ... going to change.
Hope is ... unfortunate for those who have faith.

i love these too.

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 20:50:34 GMT

Anonymously, post:

One secret.
One compliment.
One love note.
Lyrics to a song that makes you think of me/us.
How old you are.
How long we've been friends.
And a hint to who you are.

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 21:39:19 GMT

i fucking love

*Your Life: The Soundtrack*
Opening credits:	This is a Call to Arms - BOTAR
Waking up:	.44 Caliber Love Letter - Alexisonfire
Average day:	Big Plans of Sleeping In - BTMI!
First date:	Clark Gable - The Postal Service
Falling in love:	Such Great Heights - Iron and Wine
Love scene:	Your Body is a wonderland - John Mayer
Fight scene:	Bulls on Parade - Rage against the Machine
Breaking up:	Ever So Sweet - The Early November
Getting back together:	Ghost of a Good Thing - Dashboard Confessional
Secret love:	Love soon - John Mayer
Life's okay:	Everything is alright - Motion City Soundtrack
Mental breakdown:	Repeat, I Repeat, Repeat - Folly
Driving:	I'm Ready - Jack's Mannequin
Learning a lesson:	Since you've been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
Deep thought:	Everything I Once Had - The Honorary Title
Flashback:	Hallelujah - Paramore
Partying:	Bender - Big D and the Kids Table
Happy dance:	Always Sayin - The Littlest Man Band
Regreting:	She has a girlfreind now - Reel Big Fish
Long night alone:	Blame it on my Youth - Jamie Cullum
Death scene:	A moment of Violence - Streetlight Manifesto
Closing credits:	I want to know your plans - Say Anything
Take this survey \| Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 06:14:01 GMT

my name:

Who is the love of my life:

Where did we meet:

Take a stab at my middle name:

How long have you known me:

When is the last time that we saw each other:

Do I smoke:

Do I drink:

When is my birthday:

What was your first impression of upon meeting me:

Do I have any siblings:

What's one of my favorite things to do:

Am I funny:

What's my favorite type of music:

What is the best feature about me:

Am I shy or outgoing:

Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:

Do I have any special talents:

Would you consider me a friend/good friend:

Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else (what):

What is a memory we have once had:

Have you ever hugged me:

Do you miss me...do you think i miss you:

What is my favorite food:

Have you ever had a crush on me:

If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:

What's your favorite memory of me:

Who do I like right now:

What is my worst habit:

If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring?

Are we friends:

Will you repost this so I can do it for you?:

the only entries i have anymore are these. cus i dont have to do anything.

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 22:09:52 GMT

YOU
1. Name:
2. Date of birth:
3. Where you live:
4. What makes you happy:
5. Currently listening/the last thing you listened to:
6. Do you read my journal?:
7. If yes, what makes it especially good or bad?:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/do you have a crush at the moment?:
10. Favourite place to spend time:
11. Favourite lyric:
12. The best time of the year:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song, or album:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Look at my friends-list and tell what you like about one of our mutual friends:
4. Put this in your journal so that I can tell you what I like about you

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 05:03:10 GMT

Sort by song title:
First Song: "FREEEEEEEEEE BIIIRRRRRRRRRRRD!!! FRRRREEEEEEEEEEE BIIIIIIIIRRRRD!!!!!" - BTMI!
Last Song: Zombie's Vs. Robots! - The Flaming Tsunamis

Sort by time:
Shortest Song: What The Hell Are You Going to Do - Big D & The Kids Table (00:12)
Longest Song: Your Guts (i hate em) - RBF (14:57)

Sort by album:
First Song: Can't Be Caught - Big D and the Kids Table
Last Song: Island of the Honest man - Hot Hot Heat

Top Five Most Played Songs:
1. Revealing to Much - The Honorary Title
2. On love, in Sadness - Jason Mraz
3. Walk through Hell - Say Anything
4. New Years Project - Further Seems Forever
5. The Mixed Tape - Jacks Mannequin

First song that comes up on Shuffle: Beat Heat Baby (Bowery Ballroom live) - Head Automatica

Search ....
"sex" - 6
"death" - 45
"love" - 43
"you" - 281

alot of these were similar to stacey. mainly because we're awesome.

2005

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 04:54:40 GMT

cus motherfucking everyone is doing
Here are 2005 in review

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? Was confident enough to write an album’s worth of songs

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? My resolution was to write more music, and I guess I did that. And I most definitely made more resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? nopers

4. Did anyone close to you die? Death seems to blend over year boundaries

5. What countries did you visit? None?

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? A record deal.

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? August 15th, November 28th, December 31st. and if you were there, you know.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Realizing what I should care about.

9. What was your biggest failure? Wasting time.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I’m all fucked up.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Come to think of it. My vox amp.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? James’s cooper union acceptance letter is on my fridge. Motherfucker what!?

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Appalled no, saddened. A few of my friends lately.

14. Where did most of your money go? Fun.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Playing shows. Seeing dara. Band practice.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005? Walk Through Hell – Say Anything. Really, all of Menora/Mejora.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: I. happier or sadder? So much happier II. Thinner or fatter? Same, put on alittle guitar muscle III. Richer or poorer? I’d rather be poor and content

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Nothing. I think I did alright.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Dumb chicks.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Christmas passed. I spent the eve with dara and my family and friends. The day with close family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2005? You could call it that *smiles*

Where's 22?

23. How many one-night stands? None, in the conventional sense.

24. What was your favorite TV program? I don’t really watch tv anymore, but the beginning of 2005 was spent watching the daily show.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don’t hate. I congradulate.

26. What was the best book you read? Hamlet was fucking incredible.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Say Anything

28. What did you want and got? Dara.

29. What did you want and not get? Guitar center.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Jarhead.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Surprise party with all my friends, drunken manhunt. I love life.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Fuck if I should know or even care.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005? Smart casual.

34. What kept you sane? My guitar, my gf, my friends, and my band.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I’d go gay for antony green. But honestly, eva longoria is so fine.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? I hate politics.

37. Who did you miss? My dad sometimes, dara when she wasn’t home.

38. Who was the best new person you met? Acquaintances turned into friends. I love all of you.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005: stop looking, start acting.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: welcome catastrophe.

2005 Review:

LOVE

( ) stayed single
( ) got your first kiss
(x) kissed someone new
( ) made-out for the first time
(x) made-out in a car
(x) kissed in the snow
(x) kissed in the rain
(x) fell in love
( ) fell in love with a fool
( ) had your heart broken
(x) broke someone else's heart
(? ) had a stalker
(x) had a good relationship with someone
( ) questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet (if you're gay)
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) gotten someone else pregnant
( ) had an abortion
( ) gotten married
( ) had a divorce
( ) had a gay marriage
( ) kissed someone of the same sex
(x) dated someone you'll never forget
( ) done something you've regretted
( ) lost your true love forever
( ) lost faith in love

WORK/SCHOOL

( ) got a promotion
(x) got a pay raise
( ) changed jobs
( ) lost your job
( ) quit your job
( ) dated a co-worker
( ) dated your boss
( ) dated your boss' daughter/son
( ) got fired from your job
( ) got straight A's
(x) met one teacher you really like
(x) met one teacher you really hated
(x) found the subject you love
( ) failed a class
( ) cut class
(x) skipped school
( ) got into a fight with a dorm-mate.
(x) did something you were proud of
(x) discovered a new talent
(x) gave the teachers a reason to teach
(x) proved yourself an idiot
(x) embarassed yourself in front of the class
( ) fell in love with a teacher
( ) got lead in the school play
( ) made a varsity team
(x) were involved in something you'll never forget

OTHER

( ) painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
(x) ran a mile
(x) listened to music you couldn't stand
(x) double-dipped
( ) skinny-dipped
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went to camp
(x) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
(x) laughed till you peed in your pants (just a little)
(x) flirted shamelessly
( ) visited a foreign country
(x) visted a foreign state
( ) cooked a disasterous meal
( ) lost something important to you
(x) got a gift you adore
(x) realized something new about yourself
(x) went on a diet
( ) tried to gain weight
(x) dyed your hair
( ) came close to losing your life
( ) someone close to you died
(x) reunited with a friend
(x) made a choice that shocked everyone
(x) realized your truest friends
( ) told a secret that would ruin your life if revealed
( ) threw a wild party
(x) went to a wild party
(x) drank alcohol.
(x) drank alcohol underage
(x) did (a) drug(s)
(x) got drunk
( ) got arrested
(x) read a great book
(x) saw a great movie
( ) saw a movie so powerful that it made you cry
(x) saw a favorite band/artist live
(x) saw someone famous in person
(x) did something you want to tell everyone
(x) enjoyed this year overall

[P E O P L E]
1. Best friend?: everyone in my band. EBSL fo life. The Frisbee kids.
2. Boyfriend/girlfriend?: D to the A to the R to the A
3. Lost any friends?: sorta not really?
4. Gained any friends?: yea
5. Met a new good friend?: fuck yes.

[P L A C E S]
1. Went out of the country?: nah
3. New school?: nope
4. How many times on an airplane?: one hands worth?
5. Road trips?: not really.

[Y O U]
1. Have you changed?: yes
2. New look?: the pants keep getting tighter.
3. Any new additions?: Mohawk.
4. Biggest conflict this year?: I laugh at conflict.
5. Most depressed time this year?: I have a guitar, wtf is depressed?

[L O V E]
1. Did you fall in love?: Yes
2. Did you get heartbroken?: nope
3. Who was your summer love?: I hate flings.

[S E A S O N S]
1. Favorite Season?: Summer
2. Least favorite season?: winter
3. Good birthday?: most definetly.
4. Any snow this year?: some
5. Highest temperature?: a bazillion degrees.

[F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S]

Snuck out - no
Met a person who will change your life – happily altered.
Kept your resolution - yuppers
Got arrested – I love handcuffs. But no.
Had a first something – many.
Drank Alcohol - vodka is just one of those things…..
Did anything illegal – I do just what I’m allowed. Or what people wont see.
Kissed a boy/girl - yuppers
Had a crush – lots of those.
Liked someone who didn't like you – really wanted someone who didn’t want me. Not that I can remember. I’m pretty realistic.
Got bad grades – FUCK YOU BOTROS!
Got suspended – no more.
Moved states – New Jersey fo Life.
Got a myspace- myspace lets me check up on my sister.
Learned an instrument – I learned the guitar. Everyday.
Started a band - The Collision Academy is for smart chicks.
Spent over 1 million dollars – I’d return everything I bought.
Went streaking – only at home.
Done something you shouldn't have – I shouldn’t have had that extra triple black about 5 mins ago. Do I really care? Fuck no.
Kept a secret – I tend to forget things I’m not supposed to tell.
Done something you totally regret – I miss feeling really guilty.
Changed your view on things – on something or other.
2005 review memes! Enjoy!

Fri, 16 Dec 2005 21:01:30 GMT

You can only say yes or no you are not aloud to explain anything:

1. Taken a picture naked? yes

2. Painted your room? yes

3. Kissed someone and regretted it ? no

4. Drove a car? yes

5. Danced in front of your mirror? yes

6. Have a crush? celebrity crush yes real crush no

7. Been dumped? yes

8. Stole money from friend? no

9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? yes

number 10? fuck?

11. Snuck out of your house? no

12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? yes

13. Been arrested? no

14. Made out with a stranger? yes

15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? yes

16. Left your house with out telling your parents? yes

17. Had a crush on your neighbor? yes

18. Ditched school to do something more fun? yes

19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? yes

20. Seen someone die? yes

21. Been on a plane? yes

22. Kissed a picture? yes

23. Slept in until 3? yes

24. Love someone or miss someone right now? yes

25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? yes

26. Made a snow angel? yes

27. Played dress up? yes

28. Cheated while playing a game? yes

29. Been lonely? yes

30. Fallen asleep at work/school? yes

31. Been to a club? yes

32. Felt an earthquake? no

33. Touched a snake? yes

34. Ran a red light? yes

35. Been suspended from school? yes

36. Had detention? yes

37. Been in a car accident? yes

38. Hated the way you look? yes

39. Witnessed a crime? yes

40. Pole danced? yes

41. Been lost? yes

42. Been to the opposite side of the country? no

43. Felt like dying? no

44. Cried yourself to sleep? no

46. Sang karaoke? yes

47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? yes

48. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose? no

49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? yes

50. Kissed in the rain? yes

51. Sing in the shower? yes

number 52? the number 12 looks like you?

53. Had a dream that you married someone? no

54. Glued your hand to something? yes

55. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? no

56. Ever gone to school partially naked? yes

57. Been a cheerleader? no

58. Sat on a roof top? yes

59 Didn't take a shower for a week? yes

60. Ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone? no

61. Played chicken? yes

62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? yes

63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? yes

64. Broken a bone? yes

65. Been easily amused? yes

66. Laugh so hard you cry? yes

67. Mooned/flashed someone? yes

68. Cheated on a test? yes

69. Forgotten someone's name? yes

70. Slept naked? yes

71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool? yes

73. Blacked out from drinking? no

74. Played a prank on someone? yes

75. Gone to a late night movie? yes

76. Made love to anything not human? no

77. Failed a class? no

78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? yes

79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? yes

80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? no

81. Did you celebrate the 4th of July? yes

82. Thrown strange objects? yes

83. Felt like killing someone? yes

84. Thought about running away? yes

85. Ran away? no

86. Did drugs? yes

87. Had detention and not attend it? no

89. Made parent cry? yes

90. Cried over someone? yes

91. Owned more than 5 sharpies? no

92. Dated someone more than once? no

93. Have a dog? no

95. Own an instrument? yes

97. Drank 25 sodas in a day? yes

98. Broken a cd? yes

99. Shot a gun? yes

100. Been on myspace for more than 5 hours? no

101. Ever kissed a frog? no

102. ever have or let someone lick your eyeball? no

103. ridden a unicycle? yes

104. can you hula hoop? no

if you have any questions. i'm a open book. with some pages missing. and ice cream stain on page 135.

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 19:32:30 GMT

happy birthday to me.

i have the best freinds, best girlfriend, and best family in the entire world.

we kill more bitches than the census committee can keep up with.

i wanted to get my tat today, but i need money for holiday gifts for mom, sister and d.

i prioritize.

quite well.

if you see me. s my d.

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 04:40:15 GMT

i'm not at all afriad to feel, understand, and express everything.

jet pilots are hot, but not romantic enough for me.

you're a flaming idiot if you possess 1.5 liters of clear. death.

i love cute volleyball chicks who live to far away.

first sign of snow, short road trip.

s my d = soothe my discomfort.

emotica

Sun, 06 Nov 2005 09:32:02 GMT

i love doing things i'm not supposed to.

Sat, 05 Nov 2005 07:48:56 GMT

it was you who i was thinking of.

i have room full of drunk friends. and i can't stop staring at your picture.

wasted. incomprehensible at 3 am. welcome love.

we're so fucking piratey. mutherfucking arg.

when i close my eyes all i do is travel north. fall into the road, one step closer to new york. where an angel calm lays, a tomb of concrete and japanese.

that is my morning. soothe my discontent.

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 20:39:39 GMT

as to change up my usual entry. we're going to do a playlist of my most played songs.

1. Everything I Once Had - The Honorary Title
2. New Years Project - Further Seems Forever
3. Someday You Will be Loved - Death Cab for Cutie
4. The Mixed Tape - Jacks Mannequin
5. Grand Theft Autumn (acoustic) - Fall Out Boy
6. Ready...Set...No!!! - Bomb the Music Industry!
7. Stop the Fuckin' Car - Circa Survive
8. Aishiteru - The Collision Academy
9. Yellow Cat/ Red Cat - Say Anything
10. Toolsheds and Hottubs (acoustic demo) - Straylight run

that is my playlist. s my d. or send me hot pictures of yourself.

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 04:46:10 GMT

i love that you dont care my lips are chapped, and i'm obsessive over them.

i love that i play my guitar with only 5 of the 6 strings.

i love that if i forget the words to my own song, i usually have at least 2 people singing along to pick up the empty space.

i love that i'm not gunna play any of my own equipment at music for a cause. cus my shit is bananas. fo serious.

i love that i still have a paper to write. but instead i'm ranting here.

i love that i'm seeing you so much in the next few weeks. but you need to detail how to take the train up.

i love to watch you love.

that is my night. s my dick. or wait a week.

Sun, 30 Oct 2005 23:03:41 GMT

The honorary title deserve super stardom.

some kid called my music straight emo yesterday. and i strugged it off because he seemed impressed. inside i wanted to strangle him. does he not see everything is fucking emotional. do you want new wave or do you want the truth? i'm trying to bring both. and i sure as hell dont want to put in a catagory that doesn't sound anything like what i play or feel. i've worked to hard and fought to much with my words and bled to much trying to play a guitar i know little about to have people tell me where i belong. so i hold my tongue, because fear is the heart of love.

Death Cab For Cutie is in the realm of superstardom.

i dont listen to ska anymore. big d and streetlight, catch 22 and reel big fish. are my only conquests. berely.

if looks could really kill.

i hope i'm worth every worry. wait. cross that off. do you even worry anymore?

aishiteru.

thats my night. s my d. or dont.

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 04:17:45 GMT

fuck yea we can live like this.

i love online bullshit. but never bullshit love online.

physical withdrawl symptoms include shivers, tingles, minor stomach aches.

i'm so clean.

do you check your mailbox daily? because if you do, i can have alittle fun.

that is my night. s my d.

thankyou.

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 03:22:48 GMT

dara will not s your d ben. maybe you'll get a massage.

Death Cab for Cuties new album "plans" is absolutely incredible. Fcuk the critics.

if i inspire you, than what do you do to me? i'm songs, breakdowns, and way to many chills deep to call it inspiration. there is a word for it though.

possibility.

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 05:10:06 GMT

i'm dying my hair deep red. death red.

its 1:11 so i'm gunna make a wish for fucks sake.

dara and stacey basically own me forever.

that is my night. s my d.

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 04:13:06 GMT

i miss when staying up late mattered to me.

i miss being motovated enough to actually pick you up. but i've realized. i dont have to know you. i already know you.

i love minor earthly delights.

this bed could use a secret. these pounding hearts could keep it.

i no longer write diatribes, not because i have nothing to say. but because i've found more beauty in pirate costumes.

that is my night. s my d.